The Pitter Patter of Rain

I love the rain. Seriously. I LOVE it. A day couldn't be more perfect without it. There is something just so wonderful to hear it patter on the window or to feel it on your face. Then, we throw in the factor of puddles, and we create a whole new story.

Anyways, I love life. Truly, I do. It is truly a gift from God. I wish I could adequately express my feelings here, but I'm not sure if it would do justice. One thing I have learned over the last few months or so, is that God knows perfectly what we need and what needs to happen in our lives. So many times we think we know better...WRONG! He always knows better, and if we trust in Him, He will guide us down the better path.

I'm planning on starting school this January! I couldn't be more excited! It has taken, what it feels like, a half century to finally get back on my feet. I hope and pray that things work out for school, but if not, I know God has a better plan. But so far, I feel so good about it, and finally on the right track. Specifics will have to follow later.

Today, I miss the mission. I miss Europe. I miss being a missionary, the feeling and power that comes with it. The miracles that happen daily. The light of the gospel changing others for the better. I miss bearing my testimony daily of my Savior, to random people whom I have never met. The Spirit bearing truth to those people and seeing the light of Christ take place.

I also miss speaking and understanding French. The smell of bread in the streets as we would run in the mornings. I miss Europe in general...It all feels so far away, as if it all happened in some strange lifetime. I hate how the longer I am off my mission, the more foreign it becomes to me. My mission changed me. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father who permitted me the occasion to serve among the wonderful people of Belgium and France. I hope and pray that perhaps one day, I may go back.

Well, these are the current thoughts on my brain...random and scattered as they may be. Ciao for now, but for now, I shall go to enjoy the rest of this rainy day.

The Scenic Route

It seems as if every time my car breaks down, my life is crashing down along with it. I often wonder what the Lord is trying to teach me at these moments of life. It just seems bizarre, that these two events coincide with one another. I am picking up my car from the shop today. A nice fee of $403 later, it shall be fixed and as close to new as it could be...hopefully. Perhaps it is a time that I need to remember that I, like my car, need to be repaired every now and then. When the mileage of life adds up, and I neglect to repair the damages made, it adds up. Despite my resilience to keep moving forward, I can't. I break down. I must humble myself, take myself to the mechanic, and become new. Luckily I know of the perfect mechanic, and He knows how to fix me up perfectly, whereas no one else would ever be able to know how to fix me. He knows because He has been there. He knows the rough stretch of terrain that i just passed, and better yet, He knows the road ahead and will make me stronger so I can better face the path to come. I would be lost without my Savior.

Merci, Père.

Let's be honest; life is hard. Right? We all go through struggles in many different shapes and forms. Frequently, I like to run from my problems and find a hiding place. At work, I lack for hiding places, but I will hide some thoughts here. But instead of complaining or writing words I'll just regret, I want to turn this into a post of gratitude. Often times, I forget to be thankful. I have been blessed with so much, that during the times of affliction, it seems as if I forget that the Lord truly is blessing me and has a hand in my life. So here are some of the things that I am truly grateful for:

1: I'm grateful to be where I stand today. I have been blessed with a wonderful place to live, great roommates, a wonderful ward, a great calling, a fabulous job that just fell into the palm of my hands, and so much more. I know I am in the right place at the right time, and I couldn't be more grateful for that knowledge...especially when I try to run, I am grateful for my knowledge in this.

2: I'm grateful for wonderful friends. Friends who help me to see how silly I am, that I can't make this life alone. Even with my stubbornness, I'm grateful for friends who are patient with me and willing to help me through.

3: Along with great friends, some of my best friends that I'm most grateful for is my family. They are some of my strongest supports in life that lift me up and give me exactly the words of encouragement that I need. They are some of the greatest and strongest people I know. Without them, I have no idea where I would be. I love them so much and thank my Father in Heaven for them.

4: I'm grateful for the gospel. The power of prayer, the strength in scripture study, the love of my Savior and His patience and perfect understanding and mercy. Seriously, how the Atonement works, I may never fully understand, except that it does work. I'm also grateful for my Heavenly Father that hears and answers prayers. I have seen so many wonderful responses to my prayers, which I'm infinitely grateful for.


I could go on and on, but I think this will suffice for now. Gratitude has a healing effect on the heart and I encourage all who are struggling or just down in life to open their eyes and see the good things that do surround each one of us. I promise that you will find the good and see that indeed, your Father in Heaven is caring for you and blessing us amidst our trial of affliction.

Hello, Monday!

It's a start of a new week. I heard a member here at my Credit Union tell my co-worker, "Ugh. Monday! Hope you live to survive it!" It got me thinking. Why do we have such negative view towards Monday? It seems as if all people tend to frown upon Monday, as if it is something disgusting and of no worth. But really, shouldn't we be excited for Monday? Putting Sunday aside, it is the start of a new week. A chance for change. It has the possibility to make the coming week fabulous, or perhaps destined for doom. Embrace Monday. Think about last week. What was the best thing about the week before? What can you change? How can this week become better? What if we all just looked at Monday as a chance to progress and a step towards the right direction?

So here you have it. This is my determination: to seize this beautiful Monday and make it a great starting point for the week. No matter what challenges lay ahead, no matter what uncertainties seems to taint my thoughts, this week is going to be awesome. It's time to make goals, look forward with faith, and take a step into a fabulous week. So, Happy Monday to you!

A String of Thoughts

I feel like I just need to write something here. It's been awhile. So here it goes.

First, life is awesome. 'Nough said. Even with the trials, mysteries, and sometimes just the unknown, it tends to make life that much more exciting. I honestly have no idea where my life is headed right now. I feel the need to temporarily put school on hold, which is extremely hard for me. I love school. I thrive for it. I deeply desire to be well-educated. But if I must wait, then wait I will.

I am just working full time right now. I love my job. It has been such a great blessing in my life. I keep thinking back to how I moved to Provo on a whim...quitting my old job and starting anew, knowing that Heavenly Father would take care of everything. That he has. It's a miracle.

Life is a miracle. I'm blessed with wonderful friends, a fabulous family, a great place to live, and so many wonderful experiences in my life.

I don't have much to say, except life is good. Even with its downfalls...I trust my Heavenly Father and the plan He holds for me in the palm of His hands, even when things seem impossible.

Spiders and Blessings

A spider fell onto my bed and disappeared...I am exhausted, yet I fear that I might not sleep very well tonight. The couch might make a comfy bed...

Can I tell you how good life is? Heavenly Father never ceases to amaze me. Remember all the crazy decisions I had? Things are just falling into place. Just at the end of spring term, I received a job that I had desired for quite some time...I am now a teller at a credit union! I love it. It is such a wonderful job full of wonderful people. Shout out to Kayla, who helped me through the process and recommended that I fill out an application! I'm not quite sure what this means to my schooling career...yet again, I know I'm in the right place at the right time. Things will continue to fall into place. Also, I managed to get off of my apartment complex's waiting list and was able to sign a year contract. Heeellloooo Provo! You're stuck with me for at least a year. We'll see what life brings then.

But things are just good! I pulled off good grades and absolutely LOVED my classes. I love school. I'm such a nerd. But I just feel so blessed and a love for so many things. I feel ambitious, and ready to take on the world. Life is SO good!

Fourth of July weekend is coming up. Guess where I'm going? Idaho! Ha. I'm actually pretty excited. A bunch of people from my ward are heading up and it's going to be a blast.

Well, I'm going to try one last time to conquer the spider, and hopefully will be on my way to sweet dreams. Night!

Decisions, decisions.

Well, it has been awhile. So I shall blog to you...my imaginary audience. Lots have been happening, and at the same time, lots have not been happening.

FIRST...I moved! Sweet! I'm doing a term at BYU during the spring and I'm loving it. I love my new ward, I love my new apartment, I love being out! At the same time, it is nice knowing the family and friends are close by. But really, I lucked out. My roommates are great, the people who live here are great, and things, in general, are just great! So I finally got out of repeat mode and changed something! Now I just have to figure out what to do next...I'm only a visiting student at BYU, and chances of actually getting into BYU is highly unlikely. So...do I return to Idaho? Do I transfer to UVU (which does not have my major, btw)? Do I find a job and just work? Decisions, decisions. But things will work out. They always seem to.

Anywho...I really don't have anything to say. Aren't I boring? How about next time I post, I promise it will be more interesting. Ok? Good. Ciao for now.

My Running Shoes

My running shoes are getting way too far in front of me...I just can't seem to stand still! Can I please run off to Paris? Or perhaps London? Or Brazil? Or Florida? Or ANYWHERE...I have been antsy for a very long time now...I don't even know what to do with myself! I'm ready to move, ready to explore, ready for change.

Ok. Now, for a bit more grounding...I have made some plans! I will be attending BYU this summer. Remember how I was planning on going back to Idaho? Nope. No more. It just wasn't right. I can't tell you how relieved I am. I mean, it brought me back to square one, but I can't tell you how I have just been searching for excuse after excuse to not go back. I found one. :) Which excuse is that it just isn't right. Phew. I mean, I love that school...I love the program, I loved my experiences there...but these wings need some new stretching room.

Square One. I started going crazy. I had to figure out what puzzle pieces matched, which ones didn't, I had to entertain different ideas such as going abroad, going to a different school, perhaps looking into a new major...the list went on and on. I can't say that I have it all figured out...BUT I am planning for the Y this summer. Finally. Some movement! However, I still yearn to go abroad...to travel...but I need to find a purpose for such. I'd love to work in Europe or do some form or a study abroad. Life is a maze. I'll figure my way through one day. But for now...back to day dreaming and keep on moving forward. Something will work out. It always does. ;)

Une Semaine...

So, I have started a project. It is called, "A Week of Change". Simply, each week, I decide to mix things up a little, enabling me to grow and stretch a little. Last week, I did a full week of not using the internet. Yes, that means, no e-mail, no facebook, nothing. It was actually very liberating. I started using time more wisely and got a lot more accomplished. This week is a week of no chocolate/ice cream/desserts. Ugh. It is very difficult. However, I do feel healthier and I have been a lot more aware of what I take into my system. I have other ideas for the coming weeks, such as a week of just wearing skirts, a week of being a vegetarian, etc. I am excited to take on these new adventures and discover new areas of life. So bring on the adventures and bring on the victories. To all who are reading, I challenge you to think what you, yourself, can either give up or take on for one whole week. Think of a goal you have always wanted to accomplish. Start now!

Happy February

Happy February! Guess what tomorrow is....GROUND HOG'S DAY! Horray! For those of you who roll your eyes at my excitement at what seems is such a little holiday, repent! This is a very extraordinary holiday...for it means that spring is soon on its way! Imagine if we didn't check to see what the ol' ground hog's eyes beheld. Spring would never come forth. This ground hog is just as important as Santa. Santa brings toys. The ground hog brings spring.

Anyways...it seems as if I have so much I want to write. Often, it seems as if words can't escape the tips of my fingers. Emotions run deep. My brain doesn't seem to reach its depths. I have so many desires to write articles, columns, whatever it may be, to inspire the world to change for the better. (You may all be relieved now, for now you know, I am not an evil villain.)

Change the subject. Again. I am leaving in April to the frozen land of Idaho. I finally am hinting that school is just around the corner. This month marks my year of returning home from my mission. I look past at this year, trying to see what in the world I have accomplished. Though I haven't traveled as I so much desired, I have made wonderful friends, learned essential things, earned money for school, and have been happy. Happiness is a triumph. One can be in Memphis or Australia, even, and be the most miserable of souls. Therefore, how blessed am I? To be home and to love what I have.

Bienvenue l'hiver

Why hello! It has been quite some time since I have written. So, I thought perhaps I might write down a few random things, just to keep my small audience up to date (if I even have an audience). Now, the holidays were wonderful, the start of the new year has been exhilarating, and wonderful things are approaching. It's so good to be home. Finally.

Now, on that last little note, I have been feeling very restless. I desire to spread these wings and rise into the sky toward a new location. I have not stayed put within the last 4-5 years, so it is kind of strange to be in just one place. I really can't complain about my current circumstances. My family is wonderful, my friends are abundant and I couldn't ask for better, I love my singles ward, my job, really, isn't that awful. I feel blessed. But often times, I feel as if I can't progress without doing new things, without stretching myself, or experiencing something new.

Hmm...well, this is all for now. I am off to go save the world. Ciao.

Dashboard.

Wow...Okay, so I have to brag a little...but I just had the opportunity to see Dashboard Confessional and all I can say is that it was AMAZING.

Now for the story...My sister's co-worker had won free tickets through the radio, all because he was bored and decided to answer their question. To his surprise, he actually won. Problem was that he didn't have a way to go up, nor anyone he really wanted to take. He didn't really care for the tickets so he offered them to my sister (random, eh?) and she was shocked! But he insisted that she have them, so she invited me to go with her. So we had free tickets to the acoustic set of Dashboard. We were both ecstatic. I had wanted to go when they originally had a show in Orem, but they had cancelled the show because of a family emergency. I didn't even know that they had rescheduled. So it just worked out perfectly.

We ended up getting there a little late, but it turned out perfect, because we got there half way through New Found Glory's opening act, and heard the last of their best songs. They did a really good job. Then Dashboard came out and Chris Carraba is just phenomenal. He is so talented. Wow. I can't stop thinking about the concert. I just had to share because it is so much on my mind. But it was just such a blessing to receive those tickets and to just go to a show and have some great fun. We loved EVERY minute of it. So next time they are in town, call me up, and I will totally be down to go again. Plus, if you haven't seen them yet, you must. SO good.

The End.

oh the WEATHER outside...

...is FRIGHTFUL. Isn't it? Frightfully wonderful, I propose. Snow, snow, SNOW! I think I love it. I'm not sure yet. I was just in the process of celebrating Fall, so I'm still trying to figure out if I can cheat on Fall for Winter...

Thanksgiving is coming so SOON! Can you believe it? Sometimes I forget why we have Thanksgiving. When I think Thanksgiving, food automatically springs to mind. I need to change the way I think. Granted, family is close behind "food", but perhaps "food" ought to be the last on my mind. Gratitude, heritage, thanksgiving (not the holiday, but the word itself), and love ought to be the first. So let's try something. I am going to name 5 wonderful blessings I have in my life. Are you ready?

#1: A running car, even if it is still not as fancy or high tech. It runs and will last me a few years. Also, it's paid for. Which means, more money for school! :)

#2: My family. I can just talk to them about anything. They also support me in everything I do. I love them so much, and really, I couldn't ask for better. I am also so grateful for their firm testimony of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

#3: Which leads to my gratitude for my Savior Jesus Christ, and His sacrifice, love, and support He's given me. I have felt Him so close in times so hard. His Atonement makes everything possible. I continue to find myself time and time again, using His infinite Atonement, and without it, I'd be lost.

#4: I am grateful for my gifts and talents Heavenly Father has given to me. Often times, I think to myself, "What are my gifts? I am not spectacular at doing just one specific thing." Therefore, I lead to the conclusion I don't have any. FALSE! God has given me a divine sort of outlook on life and a lot of gifts relating to wisdom and discernment between good and evil. I am so grateful for the life and choices I have made throughout my life, though not perfect, have brought me to where I am today.

#5: I am grateful for the experiences I have had. School, Disney World College Program, a Mission in Belgium and France, and so, so many more. And to think, this is just the beginning of them! I am so excited for life and the many opportunities that lay ahead.

Donc, voila. That's a lot in and of itself. There are so many more things I am grateful for. The list can go on and on and on and on. But I'll stop for your sake (and my sake as well, my hands will probably get tired.) So ciao, for now! Happy Thanksgiving this week! :)

.eRin

The Uniform Project=Awesome.

Apart from a crazy life and some important decisions to make, life is so good. I mean, really? What do I have to NOT be thankful for? I love November. The trees, the holidays quickly approaching, the crisp air, hot chocolate, and the list could go on.

But anyways, I stumbled across the little site and I found it fascinating. It is called "The Uniform Project". Basically, a girl decided that for one whole year, she is going to wear the same dress (7 identical dresses, one for every day of the week to be hygienic) to help out a charity in India. It is actually really cool, because every day, she changes the same dress up with accessories, tights, layers, whatever be it, you would hardly know it was the same dress. The concept is genius, if looked over carefully. It's just interesting. Take a look. I'm kind of fascinated with it.

ANYways...

That is all for now. Perhaps I'll post more findings later. Ciao.

Cough. Ahem. Sneeze. GASP. Ugh.

Okay, this girl is SICK. Ugh. I've been laying around the house for the past 3 days. (Well, perhaps 2 1/2, I had to work Monday...I got to go home a tad early though due to my illness.) In a way, it is perfect timing to be sick. I had to call in sick yesterday and today I was able to switch a shift and the next two days I have off. Now, it is also a HORRIBLE time to be sick because I'm supposed to be going to I-dee-ho for a really good friend's wedding. I was supposed to leave this morning with two married friends and their kid, but seeing that I have the flu...probably NOT the best idea. Donc, voila. I am still here in Utah. Unable to leave the house. Unable to do anything. Ugh. However, I must tell you, sometimes it is nice to be sick. Sometimes the body just needs a break and needs to recuperate. When you are feeling healthy, when else can you spend days on end in front of a tv, laying on a couch, sleeping, and just letting everything on the to-do list be on hold. Never. So, in a way, sickness is sort of like a vacation, despite the miserable fevers, hacking coughs, miserable sinus issues, and body aches all over. But you know what I'm saying. Hopefully.

Anyways, it has been a good long time since I've written anything, and to be honest, not too much has happened. I did buy a new car. Sweet, eh? A Honda Fit. It is sweet. It actually freaks me out. I am used to driving an 'ol beat-up saturn that looks like it has been through all the world wars. Now, I am driving something shiny, pretty, and too cool for me. I suppose I'll get used to it. It is pretty cute, despite the fact.

Oh, one of my dearest friends, Christina, just got home from her mission a couple weeks ago. It's great having her home. She's so cute. I've come a long way from being fresh off the mission...granted, it has only been 8 months, but I feel so much more adjusted than when I first stepped off that plane. Life is good. I'm enjoying it.

I don't know where my life is headed. I am just working for now. Got to still earn up some money for school (the car sucked out every penny I had). In fact, I still have to figure out WHERE to go to school. Let alone the fact that I still have to figure out WHAT to study. I suppose it's the Who? What? Where? When? Why? kind of thing. It will happen. I'm not too worried. It's a dream and passion of mine.

Well. I suppose this is all for now. I was going to post some photos for the first time ever (exciting, I know) but I think I am changing my mind. I'm also to scared to figure that all out. haha. So ciao, for now, and a la prochaine. Until next time. :)

x.eRin

STILL, but good.

I'm kind of interested to see what will come out of the tips of my fingers for this blog...All I know is that I have a desire to write, and that I shall!

Really, nothing has changed.  Truly.  I am STILL working at JCW's.  STILL not in school.  STILL single.  STILL just the same 'ol me.  But I'm loving it.  Despite what it may seem, I am still having fun.  Granted, often times than naught, times get rough, things don't work out, black fades into gray, and the wear and tear just seems to not hold quite right.  But I'm still pressing forward. :)

The Lord has given me so many wonderful blessings.  I am so grateful.  I am also starting to try to reflect on the gifts that have been given to me...and to be honest, I haven't been so diligent in trying to magnify them or increase them, or even improve upon them in the slightest.  I think it's time to get out and just work at it.  I need to stop holding myself back and just go for it.  Hmm...I think I have some goals to go out and set....   :)  

Short and sweet and to the point.  Ciao.

Gratitude.

Wow. I just feel so blessed.

These past 6 months of being home from the mission, honestly, has been very difficult. I feel like in many ways I've had to start from square one and pick up many lost and scrambled pieces and fit them back together. Well, it's taken me a lot of time to find some, discover others that I've never seen, and glue the pieces that I do have together. It's quite the project, I must admit. And to think that I still have a loooong way to go before the picture is complete...

It was rather interesting the other week, I was struggling a bit and decided to change my frown upside down and count the blessings instead...Once I did, I found that Heavenly Father had been answering many of my prayers. I was so amazed! He truly does listen to us and knows us so personally and desires our happiness. It has been so incredible. Words can't even describe...

One of the many blessing that I've received has been regarding my jobs. I've been working two jobs, averaging 48 hours a week which has been really stressful on me. My life was just work, work, and work. No fun. So I had been feeling like I needed to stop my nanny job, and felt like that was what I needed to do to allow the stress to depart and just to open up my life a bit. But I had no idea how to tell her I wanted to leave, because I didn't want to leave her in a bad situation with no help. I mean, 5 kids under the age of 6 isn't easy...But surprisingly, she was the one who had been feeling like I was stressed and a bit burnt out and she had been praying to know how to help me, and it just turned out that things opened up with her schedule making things more flexible to find someone else (if I so chose) and she approached me about it, and I told her how I'd been feeling and needless to say, my last day is this coming Tuesday. :) It was just so amazing to see how Heavenly Father knew both of our needs and just made things work out. He is so amazing.

He has blessed me in so many other wonderful ways. Wonderful friends, supportive family, even the very job that I do have. It has just been wonderful. I just know that He has so much more to give to me too, as long as I keep doing my part. He really is in the detail in our lives, and I think I'm beginning to catch a glimpse of that. ;)

Pay me in Cheerios.

I just realized the worst part about today.  I forgot to bring a camera and did NOT take photos of todays events.  I am officially sad.  My mission president is home, so a bunch of us headed up to Logan to go to this spectacular event.  It was zone conference all over again and I loved every minute of it. Including the part where we only got 3 1/2 hours of sleep and most of that time, I twitched awake trying to get rid of the bugs crawling over my body.  (We slept outside.) BUT it was wonderful.  I felt so much joy seeing so many familiar missionary faces and being reminded again, how truly my mission has changed my life for good.  I am so grateful.

Now, on the other hand, I have also come to realize how much I need to change as a person.  I need more charity in my life, selfless service, and to step out of my comfort zone, throw away all concerns and just step up to the plate and just TALK to people! It's like Preach My Gospel, right? Talk with EVERYONE!  A trial that has NOT ended with the mission!  So I've made lots of goals for the coming week and we'll see what happens.  I am so tired, though.  I still feel lost with many things and kind of just don't get it...But I suppose I shall one day, right?  Oh well.  I am impressed with myself, by the way, I am writing on here within a three day time period.  Impressive.  It was a good week.  Nonetheless, stressful and hard, too.  But we'll see what amounts.  Ciao.

Same 'ol, Same 'ol.

Well, it's been a LONG time since I've posted anything, so I think I'm going to break the trend and start at this very instant.  Nothing really new in the life of Mademoiselle Erin; still working like crazy, still can't talk to boys, and still socially awkward.  HOWEVER, I guess I have figured some things out.  For example, I am NOT going back to Rexburg.  I'm sticking around in Provo.  Whether I go to BYU or UVU, we'll find out shortly.  But I will be studying graphic design and I am planning to move out in January.  Phew.  Glad part of that is figured out.  I'm just ready to do it now.  I feel so ambitious...ready to live life and make the most out of it.  I think often times, that is why I run from boys.  (Is that so bad?)

Anyways, really, nothing new.  I am dying from working two jobs and seriously contemplating if one job would be better...I just feel so burnt out.  I need money, but I need to be happy too! I need a life!!  But we'll see...I just don't want to leave my nanny job high and dry...I would feel so bad.  But at the same time, I think I might need to.  We'll see. Who knows?  Life is such a puzzle. 

Oh, and for the record, new favorite song: Hot Air Balloon by Owl City.  Check it out.  Perhaps I'll even post it on here!  Peace!

FOUR!

I am a freak of nature.  Okay, glad that is off my chest.

Now, for some explaining.  So, I still have yet to understand the opposite sex.  I tend to run, duck for cover, and put golf balls at them, all the while hiding my face so no one can see me.  Ugh...We went golfing tonight for our "THE"  (Tuesday Home Evening) with the ward...all the while a guy tried to hit on me the entire time and I kept trying my best to avoid eye contact and to shoot him down.  Well, it worked for now.  He even tried asking me out, and I wormed myself out of it...So awkward.  Now, when it comes to someone who I might actually be interested in, it seems as if I do the same exact thing...avoid eye contact, shoot him down, and feel completely squirmy when it comes to talking to him.  Yikes.  Am I really a helpless case?  I vote yes.

Anyways, there is so much more on my mind.  I still have no idea what to do with my life!! I desire an education, perhaps even a master's degree if time and money permit so, at the LEAST a Bachelor's...But really, where?  What? When? How?  I am also thinking of moving out.  But money is always an issue. Besides, this past week, my Dad was laid off from his job.  Ouch.  I'm sorry Dad.  Kind of scary, too.  Even for me, that could put a damper with what I wish to do, so I could perhaps help support my own family, which if circumstances call for, I'll do it.  I think the really hard thing for me right now is that I have been home from the mish for 3 1/2 months now, and I am just so ready to start my life.  But I'm not quite sure which path to take, let alone when it will just take off.  Real life is just hard. N'est-ce pas?  Okay, I'll step down my soap box.  I ought to just rename my blog to "Erin's soap box." It would be appropriate, wouldn't it?